When Saturday Night Live airing its last episode of 2018, the government was still open. A little over a month later, America is on the 29th day of the longest government stop in its history – endless in sight.
The first SNL news of 2019 opened with a very special "Special Government Closure Edition" Deal or No Deal. "Let's see the guy who said he'd have the shutdown," Steve Harvey of Kenan Thompson, Howie's replacement, Mandel, began. "He is the president, and we both have a tie that's long enough to fit into a Roomba."
Okay, now, earlier today, you went on TV and you told the American people that you wanted to make an agreement, "added the host. "So we decided to do it in the only format you can understand: a game show with women holding briefcases."
President of Alec Baldwin, Trump, described his new offer to the Democrats in these terms: "I want $ 5 billion for the Great Wall Border and, in exchange, I will expand the DACA and free the children from the cages so that they can be children in freedom. "
From there, a succession of Democratic legislators appeared to propose various counter-offers. First, Kate McKinnon "drunk by herself" Nancy Pelosi proposed to Trump "1 billion dollars and you say," Nancy is my mother. "After that, Chuck Schumer first proposed "What you want," but when Pelosi reprimanded him, he opted for "$ 15 and a pastrami on rye." Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell tried to hide behind his briefcase in cash.
"Agree, agree or disagree, Mr. President?" Harvey asked Trump. "And remember, every time you choose not to do business, half a million federal employees work one more day without being paid."
Melissa Villaseñor, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – Trump confused her with Cardi B. "That's good, Steve," she replied. "Trump and the GOP are just terrified of me because I'm under 100 and I understand how to use Instagram."
And then there was the return of Pete Davidson, who made his first appearance in a live skit since posting a disturbing message on social media last month. Davidson played against a Clemson football player who offered Trump a "hamberder" from White Castle in exchange for the end of the stop.
"Oh, Steve, I have not eaten any pastries for almost 15 minutes," Trump said. "I'll do this business!"